You'll Never Face the Monsters Alone
by Crazy4Hope
Summary: "It had been too long. Way too long in fact; how could he not realize she was falling apart? How could he not realize the spark in her eye was gone." Tiva one-shot. Takes place after pyramid!
1. Chapter 1

**This is just something I have had in my head for a little while and I needed a break from my other writing so I decided to go ahead and post this. I hope everyone who reads enjoys.**

**Disclaimer: No NCIS is not mine. Though I do plan on getting the 8th**** season when it comes out.**

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><p>It had been too long. Way too long in fact; how could he not realize she was falling apart? How could he not realize the spark in her eye was gone.<p>

He knew the answer to that one. The spark left the second they go the news that Mike had died. Now, most people who knew Ziva would tell you she was good at hiding her emotions. Most people would look at her now and say she was the one holding it all together, holding the whole team together.

But Tony wasn't most people. He saw through her façade, and just recently she had let this façade fall whenever she was around him. Yes, in the past, her trust in him had grown stronger…but lately things had changed. Quiet honestly, it freaked him out, he wasn't used to this version of his Ziva, but he liked this version. He liked how this version made him feel needed. The version that made her seam…human. Yeah, human was a good word to describe this version of her.

That's why he was now rushing through the park, filled with happy kids, to find her. He knew she would be there. That's why, when he saw her sitting on a bench facing where a small group of kids played, he wasn't surprised.

He stopped when he was only feet away from her to take it all in. The way the wind blew her hair around and the sun through the opening in the branches on the tree cast shadows around her. He stood there for what seemed like hours before Ziva finally looked up, and after a moment of surprise and hesitation she gave him a smile, her own way of inviting him to come sit.

When Tony approached her, she had a sad and confused look on her face, along with an envelope and one other object that made Tony's heart drop. A small velvet box. If it was what he thought it was, then why did she look so upset? Why was she here at their spot in the park?

He remembered the first time they came to this spot. It was a little over a year ago. The case involving Kaylen Burrows hit close to home for Ziva, and after a mental struggle with herself, she gave in and talked to Tony. He was the one insisting they go to the park. Ever since then, when things got rough or when a case became too much, they would come here. Well, at least until about two months ago, but this spot was still their spot. It was like their own little white flag saying they surrendered.

Tony took his seat cautiously and stared straight ahead at the two little girls trying to get across the monkey bars, he knew the only way she would feel comfortable is if she talked first, so he waited.

After what seemed like years, she turned to him with the box in hand and said, "It's empty."

"What?" Tony asked, truly confused.

Ziva sighed, mad he was not understanding her. There was no idiom that she had messed up. She had made herself perfectly clear. "Ray gave me an empty box."

Tony frowned in realization and moved closer to her. "Zi…"

"No, I know what you are going to say and just… save it. All he had to offer me was empty promises and this box proves that."

"Ziva, he might just be wanting you to know he wanted this," Tony told her gently. Why was he suddenly defending this, this, this…scumbag? Deep down, he knew the answer. If Ziva is happy, he was happy. "He cares for you, Zi, and if he had of proposed, what would you have said?"

Ziva sighed. "I would have told him yes. Or… maybe." She shook her head. "You do not understand."

No, Tony didn't. He didn't understand how her answer felt like a low blow to the stomach or how such a great person ends up being used and betrayed. "Make me understand. You know you can trust me."

"Something permanent," she mumbled under her breath, and when Tony gave her a confused grin she explained further. "When the physiatrist came, I told her I was looking for something permanent which is why," she held up the envelope, "I am handing in my two week notice. I am sick of wondering if I am coming home at night or wondering if we will all make it back from getting a suspect."

Tony sat frozen in his seat, trying to find the right words. But when he did speak, his voice was crackly as he longed to embrace her, to make all the things she was fighting with go away. "Ziva, please…"

"No." She held up her hand. "I told you I cannot take this anymore. There will always be these monsters. Yes, Cobb is dead, but what happens when another Cobb comes around? There are already so many monsters in our life, in my life. Monsters who have faces. Eli, Ari, Michael, Saleem, Ray, myself," the last one was barely audible, but Tony heard it.

"Zi, don't think like that."

"No, let me finish. These monsters just keep on coming. This job is pointless. Yes, we capture killers, but sometimes our job turns us into the killers, regardless if it is an innocent life or not. I am sick of it. That was the first time since Somalia that I have been taken. How many more times is that going to happen?" With those last words, the tears she was holding back feel and her whole body shook.

That was it, Tony couldn't take it anymore. He scooted closer so he could pull her pull her to his chest and, as she sobbed into his chest, he cradled her head. Every once in a while, leaning down and whispering soothing words in her ear.

"Ziva, look," he said after a little while and she lifter her head to look where he was pointing. "You see those kids?"

She nodded.

"We do our jobs in hopes that they won't have to face those monsters. We do our jobs so one day those kids will be able to live care-free." Tony smiled when a small smile appeared on her face, but all to soon was it gone.

"I just cannot," she whispered.

"Yes, you can. I know you. You're the tough one. The one who's always has her head on straight, and always worries about others first. Even though, half the time, you don't see that strength." Tony gave her a sad smile as he took her hand in his and she rested her head back on his chest. This felt so wrong, and so right at the same time.

"But how much longer am I going to have to face these monsters alone? I just can-"

"Don't. Ziva, you can and you will. Whether or not Ray or Eli believe you can. I do."

This time, the smile on her face was genuine as she spoke. "I know you will never let me forget this, but you are right." She stood up and pulled Tony to his feet, at the same time not letting go of his hand. "Can we just agree on one more thing?" Her brown eyes looked up to see green, and with a smirk she joked, "Let's not have a serious conversation for quite some time. All this…seriousness insects me."

He nodded in agreement, anything for her. "Bugs, sweet checks. It's bugs you." They laughed and continued to walk when suddenly Tony stopped and stood in front of her. "But, one more thing.

"Of course you ha-" She was interrupted by Tony bringing a finger to her lips, silencing her. She in turn brought a hand to rest upon his chest.

"You'll never have to face the monsters alone." He kissed her forehead the moved so his lips were at her ear and whispered, "You'll always have me. Just say the word, and that is not an empty promise."

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><p><strong>Reviews are welcomed and appreciated. Thanks again all who have read!<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Read A/N at the bottom also!**

**Hey guys, so I wanted to start with saying thanks so much for the reviews! This chapter, much like the one before it, started out as a one-shot but as I wrote I decided that there were some lose ends that needed tying. This chapter takes the Tiva relationship to the next level so I felt the need to add it. I might end up adding one or two more chapters just depends on the response to this chapter, if people are asking I might try and find another idea for another chapter. Please don't expect to much though...**

**Disclaimer: No not mine.**

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><p>Tony stood facing the pale white door of Ziva's apartment, not knowing what to do. He knew she needed him, or maybe it was just some fantasy he cooked up in his head, but somewhere deep down, he knew she was hurting just as much as he was. It was hard, having to pretend things where back to normal. Pretending that death wasn't all around them. This case in particular had hit everyone hard, but to Tony and Ziva it hit the hardest. He knew it bugged her, but ever since their conversation in the park, he seemed to worry about her more and more. He always found himself wondering what she was thinking or if maybe this case was the one that would affect her, but he knew this time. He knew this case was different.<p>

This eight year old boy, Shane Hughes, was being beaten by his stepdad, but the worst part was the mom knew and so did the real father. But there was never proof. There was nothing the dad could do to stop it. Shane admired his father and the Navy. Always said he wanted to grow up to be 'what his daddy was,' but all because of one man, this little boy's dream would never come true.

Shane's dad tried to put a bullet through the stepdad's head, but failed, sending both of them to court. If either Ziva or Tony had their way, they would have finished the job themselves, but in the end everyone got justice. But that wasn't the part that bugged them. The father walked out on Shane and his mom only after two years of marriage. He blamed himself and that was that.

The only thoughts running through Tony's head the entire week was how his relationship with his own father was, and by the look in Ziva's eyes, she was thinking the same thing. That was when he realized they needed a break from reality. So here he found himself in front of her door, trying to find a way to face her. Of course he should have known her ninja senses would be tingling, but somehow he couldn't stop himself from jumping as she swung open the door and gave him _that _smile.

"Tony?" she asked, surprised to see him there.

Tony smirked at her surprised look. "Hi, Sweet Cheeks, I thought you could use the company."

He watched her eyes as something flashed in them, but before he could figure it out she looked away. "Well I was about to call for take-out."

"Oh," he said.

"But, you can still come in. I mean, I can order the food, but my TV is broken, but I am sure we can find something to do." Her expression turned worried and Tony couldn't help but smile at the look of innocence on her face.

"Well, Zi, I was thinking we could go somewhere. I have this place in mind that I kind of wanted to show you…" He watched her face closely, trying to determine what her answer would be, and when she finally looked up at him with a smirk he let out a sigh of relief.

"As long as the 'place' is not a strip club or a bar, then I'm play." She smiled.

"Game. The saying is I'm game," he corrected.

She punched his shoulder and reached for her jacket, glad she decided to just throw on jeans and a loose fitted deep purple shirt.

/

No matter how many times she pestered him about their destination, he kept his mouth shut. He knew just one wrong word would send her ninja senses into over-drive, but he couldn't keep his laughter silent as he pulled into the dimly lit parking lot and saw a look of panic and confusion cross her face.

"Tony, I have known you for a long time, so if you are a serial killer, please spare my life!" she said, overly dramatic, but that was how these 'talks' worked. They had to start light-hearted.

"Yeah, okay," he shrugged, "now, please stay quiet while I get the duck tape and shovel."

"That is so not funny, and what movie is that from?"

"Wouldn't you like to know…"

"No." She opened her door and got out, watching as Tony did the same. "I will see it eventually, well, that is, if our movie nights continue." She looked around, examining the small park that was getting dark, seeing as the sun was setting. "What are we doing here?"

Tony reached for her hand, pulling her towards the swing set. "When I was little, I would go to a park a lot like this and swing. Why swing? I have no clue, but it makes me feel like I can fly. Like there are no problems I can't face." He took a seat on one of the swings as Ziva took a seat on one too. "Zi? You remember when you said you were tired of facing the monsters alone?"

She gave him a small nod, still holding his gaze.

"Well this case brought us another monster, and honestly I thought maybe we needed to get away from it all."

"You are very sweet, Tony, but this was not necessary."

Tony couldn't help but feel this serge of anger fly through him. After all the times he had proven himself to her, she couldn't just let down her damn walls. "I know that's not true."

They were both silent, but soon Ziva was looking at him once again. "When I was nine, my mom took Tali and I away. I never could figure out why, but during those few months we were away from Tel Aviv, my mom had many boyfriends. Some were more friendly then others, but I remember this one in particular. Tali and I were watching TV and he walked in, I went to get him a drink and while walking back, Tali ran up to me. She knocked over his drink and he got up and hit her. I stood there frozen as Tali cried and reached for me, and when that man tried to hit her again, I kicked him." She looked away and up at the now visible stars. "I knew then I would one day do something to protect all kids who could not defend themselves, so when Shane died, I felt like. I felt…I don't know how I felt."

"You felt as if you'd failed him," Tony finished for her, because that was exactly how he felt. "I felt like there was something I should have done."

"There was nothing you could have done for him."

"Nor could you." Tony gave her a smile and stood coming to stand behind her. "Close your eyes."

"Why?" she asked curiously.

"Do you trust me?" he asked.

"Of course I do. That is a silly question," was her immediate response. No time to think about it.

"Then close your eyes." When she finally did as she was told, Tony grabbed the chains and pulled them back then pushed off, sending her in the air.

He stood there watching as she kept her eyes closed until she was as high as she could go then opened them. She stared at the ground then burst into laughter. Tony savored the sound of it. Knowing how seldom it was that he heard her truly laugh.

He stood there until she finally brought her swing to a stop. "I think I now understood my Ima's reason for taking us away from our father. His work became who he was. She did not want us to become monsters, nor did she want us to see our own father acting as he did." She took a deep breath and looked down at her lap. "I never thought of him as a monster until he didn't come. He didn't come for me, Tony. He did not even try and find out who had captured me, or if I was even alive. I just do not understand _why_."

"He's your father, Zi," Tony whispered, he walked around and kneeled closer to her face.

"He upset you and left you, but he's only your father by blood. You have Gibbs and you know how much he cares for you." Tony took a deep breath. "My mom got pregnant when I was five. It was a boy."

"What happened to him?" Ziva asked, knowing Tony had no siblings.

"Well, you see, I was jumping on the bed one night as my mom was getting into bed. I was only five so I had no idea how much just one wrong move could hurt her. I jumped and ran her into the dresser. She hit her head pretty hard and then tried to walk down the steps. She fell…"

"Oh my God, Tony. I'm sorry." Ziva cupped his cheek. "It was not your fault," she told him.

"It felt… still feels…like it was my fault. For years, I felt like I had to make it up to them," he confessed.

"Do you ever wish you could just run away?" she questioned lightly.

Tony pulled her to her feet and made his way to the gazebo. "Sometimes. But there's always something holding me back."

"I know. I remember wondering what a real childhood would be like. I often found myself making promises. Saying I would give my kids a real childhood," she told him.

"You want kids?" he asked.

"Wanted," was her response.

Tony's eyes furrowed. "Wanted? Why the past tense?"

Tony noted as her eyes grew sad and sorrowful and suddenly regretted asking. "I cannot bear a child now, Tony, not since the events of the past year, but it is okay. I understand why."

"Would you like to tell me?" he asked.

"It is my punishment, yes? I have taken so many lives, that it just seems fair that I cannot bring one into the world." Ziva's eyes filled with tears as she thought about what she would never have.

"No, Sweet Cheeks. It's not your punishment. It's all because of some sick bastard that decided to take something from you. Something you should never have taken away. It is by no means your fault," he told her and opened his arms for her, knowing she needed the embrace. Heck, he needed the embrace.

"I thought I was pregnant. When I was with Ray. I took a test and it was positive. Then I went to the doctor and found out I could never have kids. The damage was done," she said into his chest.

"Oh God, Zi." He kissed her head, wishing he could give her a real kiss and make her pain go away.

"What man would want me? I am scarred forever. What man would want something that is damaged goods?" she asked.

That was when Tony brought his lips down on hers in a heated yet passionate kiss. At first, when she didn't respond, he worried but soon her felt her press her body against his and kiss back.

When air became a necessity, Tony pulled back and looked at her. "Don't ever say you're damaged. Don't ever refer to yourself as a thing. And, Ziva, you know when you left, I realized how much I wanted, no, needed you in my life. I found myself drowning in my thoughts and memories in a bottle. I care about you so much."

He kissed her lips again and couldn't help but smile as he felt Ziva smile. When he pulled back, Tony still kept his arms around her. "I know it sounds cliché, but if it wasn't for you, I would have died. Whether it be in that cell or in Israel. Every time I tried something, I thought of…you. I thought of how much I wanted to apologize for the things that were in my past, our past," Ziva whispered her voice sounding small.

"Your past does not make who you are," he told her.

"It feels like it does," she said.

"Well my father was an alcoholic who spent more time at the bar then with my mom.

Seeing this made me realize how much I wanted to be unlike him. How much I wanted to give my kids a life I never had," he said.

Ziva raised an eye brow and smirked. "You, Anthony DiNozzo, want kids?"

"Of course, Sweet Cheeks." He laughed and leaned down to whisper in her ear, "You do know the process it take to have a kid?"

"Of course, you retard!" She burst out laughing and Tony couldn't refuse the urge to kiss her.

"But, seriously, I do want kids, but only if it was with the right person."

"Really… and this, person, do you have any idea whom she is?" Ziva asked.

Tony looked up dreamingly. "I always imagined she would have long and curly brown hair. Oh, and she had to have brown eyes. That's a must. And I really would prefer it if she was Israeli and a ninja," he said.

"Where are you going to find such a woman? That seems like a lot to fulfill." She crossed her arms and looked up at him.

"I don't know, perhaps you could point me in the right direction?"

Ziva nodded, reaching a hand up to grab the collar of his shirt. "That might be possible."

"Well, how about you came and spend the weekend with me? No sex, I promise. That is, unless you want sex." Tony kissed her forehead and looked down at her.

"Ha!" She in turn kissed his cheek. "I think I would like that very much. And, who knows, maybe if you're lucky, you can educate me on the…process… of making a baby."

"Just call me Professor Tony!" Ziva rolled her eyes and started to walk off.

"I do not think that's gonna happen." She turned around and beckoned Tony to follow.

"Well, a man can dream!"

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><p><strong>Okay, as I said before I might continue so please all who read and would like to see more please go on and press that little button that says review and make my day!<strong>

**If you review please answer these three questions.**

**1) Would you like a chapter that shows Tony and Ziva together? Not the rated M stuff, I don't write that type of stuff. No offense to anyone who does.**

**2) Any one be opposed to the idea of either Ray or Ej or both making an appearance? Trust me I'm a Tiva shipper so that chapter would be filled with plenty of Tiva-ness…**

**3) If I continue what would you want to happen?**

**Thanks all who have read my story and read my authors note! Now review… :)))**


	3. Chapter 3

**PLEASE READ!**

**Hello my amazing readers! You're reviews and alerts are what made me decide to sit down and write a full chapter. I LOVE hearing what you have to say, so please review and answer the three questions at the end. Okay also, I am not going to make this story short-ish. The decision to continue this story was a very spontaneous decision and as you can tell there is not really a plot behind this story. Yes, I will try and add some things here and some things there, but bare with me. As of right now I am thinking of doing a sequel after the ending of this short story, so make sure to look out for that. The reason I'm doing that is so I will have a little more time to work on the plot and it wont be so thrown together. Well sorry for my babbling I'll let you get on to the short chapter…**

**Disclaimer: not mine**

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><p>Ziva laid staring up at the ceiling as warm, strong arms pulled her closer. She sighed and rolled over to her side so she could see the face of the man. To her amazement, it was not whom she remembered going to sleep with. His hair was not dirty blond and his face was not at all serene and gentle.<p>

She writhed under his touch, her mind panicking.

"Let go!" she screeched as the man's eyes flew open.

"Now, why would I do that?" Ray's eyes grew mean and vicious as Ziva hit his chest.

"Please, please, don't! Just let go!" She felt a hand go her hip and she kicked harder. She needed to get away from him before it was too late.

"You bitch! You stupid Jew! You're gonna pay." Ziva's mind flashed to those many months in Somalia and she cringed back, knowing what to expect.

She clenched her eyes shut and whispered, "Please…"

"Ziva." Suddenly, the rough hands of Ray disappeared and in their place were soft gentle hands, caressing her face. "It was just a dream, babe."

"Please, just stop."

When she finally felt the hands leave her body, she peaked out through half-closed eyes and frowned as she saw a look of hurt flash through Tony's features.

"Zi," he whispered and she relaxed further into his touch where she was finally rested up against his chest once again, "it was just a dream."

"It was real. So real," she said into his chest.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked, rubbing her back, trying to calm her down.

Ziva looked up and him and kissed his cheek. "It was Ray instead of you. I woke up in his arms and not yours and then when I tried to get away, he just gripped tighter and tried to… force me…"

He rested his chin on her forehead and ran his figures through her soft curls. "You know I would never allow that to happen."

"Even if we were not together and it was not your choice? I mean, I would not go back to him. I have not even gotten a hold of him in the past two months, so I have no clue if he is even alive. But even if I was not yours, you would still fight for me?" she asked.

Tony's heart melted at the way her voice was quivering, full of doubt and wonder. "Of course, Sweet Cheeks. You aren't just any girl… you're special…"

"Aw, you are pretty great yourself," she smirked and he sighed in relief at the way her body seemed to relax also.

"Just pretty great?" he asked.

Her face lit up in a smile as she threw her leg over Tony so she was now straddling him. "Well, ask me again in…" she looked at the clock which read 6:45, "a couple hours, and I will give you my answer." She leaned down, pressing her lips to his, his hands came up to rest on her hips.

"No, I have something to say first," he said.

"Hm, what would that be, my Hairy Butt?" she asked.

He flipped them over so he could look into her eyes. "Happy Birthday." And with that, his lips came crashing down on hers.

/

Tony stretched as he walked around the room gather his boxers and a shirt. He made sure to make little to no noise as he walked out of the bedroom and after every step he would look over his shoulder to ensure his ninja was sound asleep. Once he was finally behind the closed door, he got to work on Ziva's breakfast.

He didn't realize how long it had took him until he felt kisses on the back of his neck, making their way up to his pulse point. "Zi, you're killing me here. If you leave a mark then we're in trouble."

"Well then I guess someone will have to punish me." Tony let out a groan the second he turned around and found her in nothing but one of his button-down dress shirts, looking at him through big innocent eyes. "I bet you would be more than willing."

"No."

Her face fell and he knew the thoughts that were running through her head.

"Did…did I do something wrong? If I did, I am sorry. I can make it up to you," she grabbed his hand and started pulling him the direction of the bedroom.

"No, Ziva-" he tried to stop her.

"Oh, well, if that is not what you want, then I am sure I can do something else-" Ziva whispered, her eyes not meeting his.

"Zi," Tony gripped her shoulders. "I only said no to you because I cooked you a birthday breakfast. Why would you ever question the feelings I have for you? I thought last night made it clear. My attraction for you is not only physical, but I really do care for you. Okay? I don't want those thoughts to ever cross your mind."

He kissed her forehead and she nuzzled her head into the crook of his neck. "It was silly and stupid," she reprimanded herself.

"No, it wasn't silly or stupid. I'm glad you admitted those things. Am I glad you felt those things? No, but I am glad I know how you felt." She smiled and he couldn't help but let a smile come across his face at her happiness, after all this was her day. "Now let's have breakfast…"

/

"Where are we going?" Ziva asked for the hundredth time that day. "If you do not tell me, I am going to be forced to kill you with a paperclip!"

"Gosh! Why did you learn ninja powers? I bet you could see through the blindfold with your super x-ray vision."

" I sure can. And I know you have on your favorite pair of boxers. The ones with the duckies." Another fit of laughter filled the car and Ziva could practically feel his glare.

"Don't say that too loud and how did you know?'

Ziva rolled her eyes though he couldn't see her. "I was there when you put them on."

"Oh, so that was you laying on my bed? Gosh, my memory is really bad. It must be fading." He watched as she swatted at thin air trying to find his arm. "And apparently so is your ninja skills."

"I cannot believe you just said that!" she accused.

"Well believe it and accept it because we're here." She felt him get out of his seat and then felt her car door open a few seconds later. "Okay… one, two, three."

"Surprise!" He pulled her blindfold off to reveal the entire team standing under the same gazebo the two of them shared their first kiss.

"Happy birthday, Ziva!" Abby ran up and gave her a bone-crushing hug.

Next was Ducky. "Happy birthday, my dear."

"Well, Ziva, happy birthday," McGee said, giving her a hug but one that was not as natural as the others.

Next up was Gibbs and Ziva suddenly got this bad feeling down in the pit of her stomach at the look he was giving her. "Happy birthday, Ziver." He kissed her forehead. "We need to talk."

Ziva nodded towards him and followed him to the path way that looped around the river.

"How long?" he asked her.

"What?" she asked, hoping it was not what she thought it was.

"How long have you and DiNozzo been sleeping together? Because, Ziva, he's using you." Ziva wanted to be mad at his words, she really did, and part of her was mad, but by the look in his eyes, she knew his concerns were purely paternal.

"Gibbs…" Tony's words rang though her head '_My attraction to you is not just physical. I care about you.'_

"Ziver, he's bad news. He's a good agent and a good person, but not when it comes to being with the ladies and with y'all two together things get a whole hell of of a lot more complicated."

"This is different," she tried to convince him.

"How do you know?" he asked.

"He said something to me today that made me realize how much I car-… love him, and I think he is starting to feel the same way," she told him.

Gibbs smirked. "So this is different?"

"Yes, I promise it is not one of his usual flings." She smiled as a peaceful look finally crossed the older man's face.

"Any chance I get to know what he said?" Ziva laughed and shook her head. "Well then maybe we should get back. But first, Ziva, I want you to know if he does end up hurting you, then come to me, okay? I want to know you're going to be okay in this relationship."

"I promise, but only if you promise me one thing," she said.

"Anything."

"Please talk to Tony about this. I do not want him to be mad when I tell him." By now they were close to the gazebo and Ziva could tell Tony was worried and confused as to why they were alone.

"I'll do that as soon as I can." He gave her a hug. "Go have fun with him."

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><p><strong>Okay so I'm sorry to do this but I am leaving in a day and as far as I know I have no internet, but expect a chapter by a week from this Monday! Well here are the questions, and I would like to say I am very pleased with the number and words or the reviews. You guys are amazing and I hope to see more people reviewing and alerting…<strong>

**1) What would be your favorite part of this chapter?**

**2) If you had to chose what would you rather see more of, a Tiva wedding, or a Tiva baby(complements of Tiva equals Mr. and Mrs. Smith) ? Both might happen just one might be in more detail…**

**3) Who all objects to it being Ray's baby? Just kidding don't bring out the flames and the pitchforks. I'm not that evil.**

**So now that you now the questions go on and make my day by hitting that button that says reviewing… **


	4. Chapter 4

**Read!**

**Wow, it has been a long time, but I told you it would be a week so I tried my hardest to get this up ASAP. Thanks for the awesome reviews and alerts! Well sad news…this is the next to last chapter. I must apologize this story has been thrown around. I never planed for it to be more then a one-shot but here we are three chapters later. Even though this next chapter is the last one I have a sequel planned with a plot, but I cant say what that plot is until the end of this story so read on…**

**Disclaimer: No. Not mine.**

Tony, if you value that hand, stop pulling my hair!" Ziva growled as the metal doors to the elevator opened up and Tony stole one quick kiss to her cheek before stepping out.

He waggled his eyebrows and whispered so only she could hear, "Nah, Sweet Cheeks. See, I think you value my hand more than I do!" He couldn't help but smirk as she blushed. "See, I know you."

"Of cou-" Her eyes grew wide as the approached their desk and a man with dark hair could be seen on the stairs.

"Is that?"

Ziva shook her head and closed her eyes. This was neither the time nor the place to see him and things had been going so well with her and Tony. She smirked bitterly to herself, of course! How come, just when things are going right, something bad happens?

"Zi," Tony took her hand gently in his and gave it a gentle squeeze. "I got your six, okay? You'll be fine." It seemed like the second those words were said, the man on the steps turned and gave her a warm but deceiving smile.

"Ziva! It's been a long time," Ray's voice filled her head and suddenly she didn't feel so strong, not even with Tony beside her.

"Yes, Ray. It has been."

"Well, do you have plans tonight?" You could almost see the waves of jealousy coming off Tony as Ray stepped closer to Ziva. "Because I was thinking maybe we could talk about…some things."

Ziva smirked as she felt Tony's eyes snapped up. "Well I actually-"

"Stop the talking and get to work!" Gibbs barked, making the two agents jump and mumble "Yes, boss."

"We will talk about this later, okay?" Ray lightly touched Ziva's hand and Ziva had to fight not to pull back. No, she didn't want him anywhere near her, but she also didn't want to make a scene, so instead she gave him a fake smile and nodded.

/

Ziva gave a sigh of relief as she entered the break room and found no one there. She needed some space. The looks Ray had been giving her earlier had sent shivers down her spine and she didn't understand that. She had thought Ray was a good person, but she wasn't so sure anymore. He was back to keeping secrets. She had asked him why he was back at NCIS so soon, he didn't give her a response, only dodged the question. Tony was catching on. She knew he could tell something was bugging her, but it wasn't something she could explain. It was more of a gut instinct telling her something was off.

Ziva filled her cup with coffee and took a seat so she could see out the window. It wasn't like Ray was a bad guy, he was just someone she didn't really understand anymore. He was nothing like Tony. He didn't act as a protector or a shield for her. He was not someone she could share her problems with. She had never even brought up Somalia with him, but, in all fairness, Tony only knew the little things. She had never really spoken the words to him, either. Yeah, a few hints here and there, but never the full story. Why? She couldn't figure out if the reason for keeping Tony in the dark about things was for her protection or his.

Her thoughts were interrupted when another body came and sat down next to her. She turned to give this person a smile when she realized exactly who it was.

"What do you want?" she asked.

"I didn't know we weren't on speaking terms…" Ray mumbled and took a sip of his coffee. "Are we on speaking terms?"

"I don't know, you tell me. Seeing as I can never tell with you. You left me with an empty box. You left me with empty promises and, worst of all, I feel bad for wanting to move on! For having already moved on!" Ziva growled, no longer caring who heard her or what they thought, because for once she knew she would have someone to fall back on when she went into self-destruction mode. "I am not with you anymore."

"So, what, I leave for a few weeks and suddenly you find another guy to keep the nightmares away? You find another guy to keep you from screaming because you were haunted by your past?"

With every word, Ziva's furry grew more and more and Ray's words grew harsher and harsher. "You find another man to love you for the person you are? A dirty, heartless, whore who no man will ever want to touch? You're lucky I put up with it and I got nothing in return for it!"

"You weren't supposed to get anything in return for it! If you really did love me, then you should have willingly put up with all the things that had been going on. But, see, that's the funny thing. You never really _did_ love me."

"Sweetheart," his voice was bitter and the affectionate word meant nothing coming from him. It was condescending, not sweet. "What childish delusion do you have about love? There is no person who could ever love a damaged woman such as you. There are just people who will put up with it, but you have got to keep them happy. That's the only way they will ever love someone like you. Because trust me, you have a hot body, just too many scars…on the inside and outside."

Ziva bit her bottom lip and blinked her eyes profusely. She did not want to give this man the satisfaction of seeing her cry, but he was right. There was no way she could keep a man around without giving him something. And how would any man want her after what she had been through? She looked up trying to find compassion in Ray's eyes, but it was gone, just like all the progress she and Tony had made together. She had felt stronger in the past weeks that they had been together. She had admitted her weaknesses and she actually believed Tony loved her, though the words had not been said.

"Excuse me." She pushed back her chair and walked in the direction on the women's bathroom, not caring if the tears were about to fall.

/

Tony tried to give her some space, but seeing her avoiding everyone's gaze all day and avoiding his touch was irritating and worried him to no end. She hadn't acted like this in a long time. He had a feeling Ray was somehow behind this all, but he quickly started taking back those thoughts when Ziva asked for him to drive her home.

"Ziva, are you sure? I was thinking we could go on a date…you know a real date," he said.

"No. Tony, thank you. But no." Tony tried to control his anger, because it wasn't her fault. It was everyone's fault but hers. Hell, it was his own fault. But there was still that little part of him that expected her to let him in. And that part of him was angry at her for this.

"Ziva, why? Why do you insist on pushing me away?"

"Because I do not want to be with you! Ever thought of that?" She really didn't understand why she was lying to him and it scared her that, even though in her mind she knew what she was saying wasn't true, there was still this part of her that believed what she was saying. Not because she didn't _want_ to be with him, but more because she was sick of seeing the pity in his eyes, She was sick of feeling as if she had no one to turn to other then Tony, because she was worried that one day he would wake up and see her as the person she really was, as the person every other man has seen her as.

"You don't mean that," Tony pleaded with her and he wondered if those four words could have stopped her from leaving him, but knowing her this was something no words could stop.

"Do not make this harder than it already is. I do not want this anymore." Before he got a chance to respond, she had already opened her door and was headed into the door of her apartment, leaving Tony dumbstruck.

/

Ziva watched as, after an hour, Tony's car finally drove off into the dreary night. The second she was sure he was gone, she went to the cabinet, grabbing a bottle of vodka. She had made stupid choices before this, but this one was the worse.

She didn't want her thoughts anymore. She didn't want to hear that stupid nagging voice in her mind. She just wanted to forget. So with each gulp of vodka, her thoughts started disappearing until finally they were mute and the only sound she could hear was the phone ringing. Then a voice came over the answering machine.

It was Abby.

"Ziva! Tony somehow got in a fight with that dirt bag Ray. It's bad. Really bad. Vance is threatening to take his badge and Ray might be pressing charges and Tony hurt his knee again. You know the one he hurt in college? Of course you know that, but that's not the point. His injuries are bad. Anyway, he had to go to the hospital and kept on mumbling your name. Please call me back or at least come see him."

**Yes I'm that evil, but not really because I do plan on having the next/last one posted soon. I hope you all liked it and review!**

**Questions:**

**1) What's a reasonable length for a story? 10-15 chapters? **

**2)What disease did Tony get in SWAK, and before everyone looks(well attempts to look) at me like I'm crazy just know I have tried to do my research…I really have but things didn't work out.**

**3) As always what's your favorite part?**

**4) I wanna see who can guess my evil plot for the sequel so…guess away!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Well here it is the last chapter of this story. It took a few extra days to get posted because I really wanted to ensure it was right, and I found myself thinking this is my favorite chapter. I have already started the second part to this story and I plan on posting it in the future. Thanks! Your reviews rocked so please keep them up and let me know how this chapter was :)**

**Disclaimer: No not mine.**

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><p>The loud bangs of Abby's knocks were causing the Israeli a major headache. Well, actually, the vodka that made her have a hangover was causing the headache, but Abby's loud banging was doing no help.<p>

"Ziva David! I know you're in there!" came her voice from the other side of the let out a groan and sat up on couch slowly stretching before making her way to the door.

"What do you want, Abby?" she asked from her side of the barrier between them."Ziva, open the door and I'll tell you."

Finally, after a moment's hesitation, Ziva flung the door open and the Goth gapped at her. "You look like hell."

"Well, you don't look so bad yourself. What is going on?" Ziva asked, letting Abby looked confused for a moment.

"Did you not get any of our messages? Tony got in a bad fight with Ray. Tony hit his head pretty hard, so Ducky ordered him to go to the hospital. He has a sprained hand, a dislocated jaw, and a black eye, along with a concussion. Ray got hurt pretty bad also. Though I didn't try and find out how bad that piece of low life is."

Ziva was now concerned for her boyfriend. Well, now ex boyfriend. "Is he going to be okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, he'll be fine, Ziva, but what happened? Evidently, it has something to do with you."

"You do not know that," Ziva said defensively.

"Yeah," Abby sighed, "I kind of do. Well, not because you ever share anything, butTony said something in the hospital that made me wonder, and your reaction confirmed it."

When Ziva remained quiet, Abby took that as her cue to keep on talking. "Do you want to talk about it?"At first, Abby questioned if Ziva would tell her anything at all, but when she saw the Israeli rest her head in her hands and take a deep breath, she figured she was wrong.

"Tony deserves better," was Ziva's explanation.

"Ziva, Tony cares for you-" Abby started, but Ziva cut her off.

"Yes, he cares for me and I care for him, but he deserves someone with not as much luggage as me. Or someone with not as many scars and... issues. That is why I'm leaving him. He deserves someone who can give him children. Or more like someone who has that option."

"But, Ziva, both you and I know Tony won't give up on you that easy."

Ziva let out a bitter laugh. "I know."

"Then why are you here instead of with him? I think he loves you, Ziva, and I would hate it if you two never got your shot at a fairytale ending..." Abby told looked up at her with a sad smile.

"You think I am acting stupid."Abby rolled her eyes, as though the answer should have been obvious.

"Yes."

"Oh."

"Do you love him?" Abby questioned.

"Yes, I do." Abby couldn't suppress the smile at the ex-Mossad officer's words.

"Then go talk to him. Don't worry about the world, just focus on each other. Tony deserves that much. He traveled to the desert for you. When everyone else gave up, he kept on fighting, for you. He knew the consequences, yet he planned that mission thinking you were dead. We all thought he was planning his own suicide, but no one wanted to stop him. We didn't want to tear him down anymore then he already was."

"Abby, that's not-" Ziva was interrupted by a loud sigh and a deathly stare.

"I'm not telling you this for you to argue with me. It happened. End of story. Now go see Tony!" Ziva smiled and quickly proceeded to get her keys.

/

Tony winced as the doctor's hand went to inspect his jaw. He tried to be still, only moving his eyes to observe the room he was in, when finally they landed on a women he was not so sure about seeing right doctor gave Ziva a quick glance before excusing himself.

"I was stupid."Tony gave her a gentle smile as she said these words. He knew they weren't true, but arguing with her would do him no good and would only end in her walking away, but he would rather argue.

"No, Zi, you weren't. The things that were said never should have been said to you."

"Yes, I was and I never should have believed them." When Tony went to argue with her further, she held up a hand. "The man I love has had my back and taught me so many things. You have taught me that not everyone in this world is bad, but the second someone shows up making me feel weak, I believe it. That is where I screwed up."

"Yeah, Ziva, you might of screwed up a little, but you're starting to realize no one has the power to make you feel weak." He reached his hand out, desperately wanting to touch her and sighed in relief when she obliged and sat down next to him. "I realize why you did it."

"Did what?"

"Why you left. I understand, but I just want to hear it from you."Ziva nodded. "Only if you explain why you got in a fight with Ray."

"That's fair." He gave her a smile before taking a deep breath. "I had to think, so I went to NCIS, where I ran into Ray. I don't know why, I just had this sudden urge to punch him. Nah! I'm kidding; he was saying some...things that made me think he was the one responsible for hurting you."

"What did he say?" Ziva asked curiously.

"Nothing of importance, listen, Zi, we need to talk about what happened with us," he told her seriously, but before she had a chance to respond, the doctor walked back in.

"Alright, Mr. DiNozzo, here are your discharge papers, though I highly advise you to stay the night. The hit to the head that caused the concussion is not a minor thing," the gray-haired doctor told him with a concerned expression.

"Well, thanks doc, but-" Tony went to explain himself before Ziva jumped in.

"He will be staying with me, if that's okay?" Tony couldn't tell if she was asking the doctor or him.

"Why, yes, Miss, but wake him up every two hours and here is some pain medicine. Just in case his knee starts acting up." The doctor handed Ziva the medicine and the papers before he left the room.

Ziva stole one more glance at Tony, who seemed to be staring at her before looking back down at the medicine. "I understand if you want to stay with someone else, but I just figured, since you didn't want to stay at the hospital, I would offer…"

"Zee-vah," Tony got up from the bed and cupped her cheek delicately, "I love you too."

Ziva looked at him with a shocked happiness before she stood and brought a hand to his shoulder, giving him a short but passionate kiss, being gentle with his face. "Can we finish this conversation at home?"

"But of course, my lady." He kissed her forehead.

/

"Did you really have to get in a fight and wind up at the hospital at four in the morning?"

Ziva grumbled the second she pushed her apartment door open and stepped inside.

"Well, Sweet Cheeks, I actually got in the fight at midnight, but seeing as you decided not to answer your phone, you ended up getting there later," Tony raised an eyebrow in thought. "Or is it earlier? Either way, don't go blaming this on me." He wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her to his chest so he could kiss on her neck.

"Didn't the doctor say no strenuous activity for the next week?" Ziva pulled away and turned around so he could see her expression. The expression he knew all too well.

"Who said it was going to be strenuous?" He brought his mouth down to her ear and whispered, "We could take it slow."

His words, along with his breath on her neck, sent shivers down her spine and goose bumps on her arms. Tony laughed and took his chance, placing a kiss on her lips.

"No! Tony…" She pushed him away again.

"I know, I know. No strenuous activities." He wrapped his arms around her waist again and looked into her brown eyes. "I love you, ya know."

The smile Ziva gave him in turn made his heart skip a beat and his breath catch in his throat. "That is gonna take some getting use too." She kissed up his neck and came around to his lips. "And I love you, too."

Tony looked at the clock and yawned. "Let's go to bed." She looked at him questioningly as he raised his hands up. "I promise I'll stay on my side and behave."

"No, you won't. But just know, if you so much as think a wrong thought, then there will be consequences!" She laughed at the sour face he had and made her way to the bedroom.

"Too late!"

/

Ziva giggled for the hundredth time that morning as she and Tony sat out on the balcony of the apartment. "You know, I never really understood the beauty of watching a sunrise until I came to America."

Tony nuzzled her neck and pulled her closer to his chest, giving her a head rest. "Yeah, I never really saw the beauty of it until now. It's different watching it with someone you love."

This time both Ziva and Tony started laughing. "That was cheesy," she told him.

Tony pouted. "The only reason I'm not mad is because you got that one right."

Ziva turned around so she could look at Tony's face. "I hate to ruin this, but I have a question."

Even though Tony's gut was screaming at him not to offer any answers, seeing her distraught expression in the early morning light worried him. "Sure, Sweet Cheeks."

"Well, you see, Abby was talking to me a few days ago and she said something that…"

Ziva sighed, "that made me question why exactly you went to Somalia."

"You know why I came. I came to rescue you."

"But you thought I was dead. You thought I died on the boat. So why go after someone whom had nothing to do with my death?" She knew she didn't have to explain herself by the look in his eye.

"Zi…"

"No, I just want to know."

After a few moments of complete silence, Tony looked down at her. "I was told you were dead and the second I heard that, I decided nothing else mattered. I knew going into that camp; it was a suicide mission, but what else did I have to do? At least that way, I would die with some sort of honor, even if it was a lie. Gibbs saw through it, he knew my reasoning and he let me because he traveled around until he found the man who took his family away from him, and at least I would finish your mission. I needed to finish your mission. I knew Gibbs had been there and I knew, even if I was to die in that room, he would die too." Tony took a deep breath, "Going to Somalia was not because I wanted to die, it was because I just wanted to feel alive again."

"You traveled all the way around the world to finish a mission I left NCIS for? A mission I left you for?" Her voice was weak and quivering more and more with each word she said.

"Well of course, Sweet Cheeks. You didn't think I would stop having your back just because you weren't my partner, did you?"

Ziva's eye watered further and finally the first tear fell. "I do not understand. How could you still care enough for me even after I betrayed you?"

"Because you didn't pull the trigger."

"That makes no sense."

"When you held that gun to my chest in Israel, you didn't pull the trigger. I saw it in your eyes then. You were lost and if you truly believed I shot Michael out of jealousy, I wouldn't have walked out of there alive," he told her before silencing her thoughts with a kiss. "I love you. I don't think I realized it until the second the bag came off your head in the cell. But let's not think too hard on that, okay? We've come so far since then."

They both nodded and turned their attention back towards the now rising sun. "It's so pretty," Ziva said in awe.

"I know something a whole lot prettier." Tony watched as she looked down at the hand that held the small velvet box. He smiled when he heard her breath catch in her throat. "I love you, Ziva David, and I could never imagine living without you. I don't want to, nor do I think I could. So would you, Ziva David, marry me?"

She smiled at him and nodded, not trusting her own words. Her hand was shaking as

Tony pulled out the diamond ring and slipped it on her left hand. "I'm gonna give you a good life," he promised her.

She smiled at the thought and leaned in to kiss him. "As will I, my ahavah."

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><p><strong>No questiones this time, I just ask of everyone, weither you have reviewed in the past or not, leave me just a few words or more telling me your favorite part or really anything. Lets see if you can break the record for regular amount of reviews on this story.<strong>

**Goodbye you guys and thanks again so much your reviews and alerts were rather motivational! Put this story on alert or author alert. I will maybe post telling you when it comes**!


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